“Compliment people. Magnify their strengths not their weaknesses.”- unknown
Let’s talk about compliments. Have you ever noticed that most of the time, compliments are usually about physical appearance? Oh, I love your hair! Your eyes are beautiful. You have a gorgeous smile!
This got me thinking..are we only valued by our outer appearance? I know that I want to be valued for the qualities that make me who I am. I want to be noticed and recognized for my love, empathy, and kindness. I would much rather someone tell me how beautiful my soul is than say I have a pretty smile. Yes, that is nice to hear, but what happens if I get in a car accident and my smile is completely altered? Well, I still will have that beautiful soul, that never changes.
I think especially for women, it is important to notice our internal beauty. We get very focused on what we wear, our makeup, our hair, our nails…I could go on, but how often do we try to beautify our souls?
“Beauty is not in the face it is a light in the heart.” – Kahlil Gibran
1 Peter 3: 3-4 says, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
Song of Solomon 4:7 says, “You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.”
Try this exercise:
Every time you give someone a compliment, put a note in your phone of what you said.
At the end of the week go back and see how many times it was based on physical appearance. You’ll be surprised how much we focus on that. (I do it to! It’s not a bad thing, but I think people need to understand that they are more than their looks.)
Here is a list of compliments that aren’t about physical appearance:
You inspire me to be a better person.
I love your confidence.
I think you are a strong person.
I love listening to what you have to say.
You have such a kind heart.
You are so generous.
You have a beautiful soul.
Being with you makes me joyful.
Thank you for being so understanding.
You matter so much to me.
Your passions are contagious.
I love how great you are at loving others.
Your positive energy is infectious.